|
| I just had one of those nights, where you know that any little thing can make you upset. And of course, who IMs me but Pete..... saying "Jenny i just wanna thank u, i prob had one of the best times of my life when you went to hofstra". It is like wtf am I suppose to say to that shit. All I can do is cry, I lost myself for 3 years and I am trying my best to find me again and Pete always comes in my life at these times and tells me all of these nice things, like what the fuck am I suppose to with them now. I know he is not for me, but I can't help but think about those times when it was great. How are you suppose to go on and not think about those great times you had with your ex. I guess I just have to figure this all out as I go. I don't know where my life is going to lead me, but I know I did what was best. | | |
| Well, I haven't written in here in a while. I truthfully don't know what to say. Pete and I broke up in June 2007. It was like I tried and tried so hard to make it work but it just wasn't mean to be. And only recently have I begun to question myself, it is like I didn't grieve and now all of a sudden I started to grieve. I look back at Pete and wonder, if we even should have went out. I mean the first year was great but after that, I think that it should have ended. Now, I am back in the dating world and that is pretty awful as well. It is like, you are suppose to go out on dates with people you hardly know, and figure out within the first 5 dates if you like them. I truthfully think that is so fucking ridiculous. For example, with a new friend that you meet, you could end up hanging out with them for a year and then be like wtf, why was I ever friends with this crazy bitch; so basically I feel why would I want to call someone my boyfriend that I only met a couple of times. I really do not get how people go around dating multiple people, it is odd. So many people are telling me to go on many dates with many people, I just think those people are crazy. Also, another thing I hate about dating is the whole hooking up thing. So basically, you go on dates and then afterwards you are suppose to hook up- and kiss and some people even have sex. I don't know why these peoplewould want to do that stuff. First of all, I think that kissing is so passionate and that it should mean something when you do it. Sex on the other hand, I would never have with anyone I just started dating, especially in today's world where basically everyone has STD's and what not. I just think this world is crazy and dating in this world is even crazier. So, please send me luck in this crazy world of dating. Blah! | | |
| So I think it might be time for me to keep on walking and not look back.
I'm coming to accept that we won't walk down that aisle
as we had planned.
That it just wasn't our time to shine.
I've decided that I can't wait forever for you to make up your mind.
You had your entire world standing right in front of you
and you chose to look the other way.
It hurts, I don't deny that. But time has been my healer.
You turned out to be someone that I never would've wanted to be with,
but you had so much potential to be so much more than you are now.
You got lost somewhere on the way to the alter and my heart got broken along the way. And you know what? It's not okay that you hurt me but I am okay.
I deserve more and I know that now.
And maybe you knew that inside that you couldn't give me that yet.
So you set me free.
We would've been so great,
you would never have wished for more than what I'd given you.
But you never gave it a chance.
So now you'll never know what could've been.
Maybe someday you'll regret it,
maybe someday you'll think it's the best decision you ever made
but maybe someday you'll see me
walking, smiling, and happy alongside someone
who's also smiling and happy
because he has my heart.
Maybe then you'll stop and realize what you're missing.
Because someday, someone is going to thank you for letting me go. | | |
|
Just forget about me, do not think twice about me anymore.
Just stand back, do not come any closer.
You are the one who blew it and now you just forget- about me, about how you made me feel and about what you said.
Where did those promises go?
When did you stop calling?
Who are you? Who am I? Who are we now without each other?
So, just stand back- do not come any closer. I made a promise to myself and I will not break it. Do not try to ever call. And if you ever find yourself wondering who I am, I am someone who was broken but now I am so much more without you.... | | |
| People are always trying to hold on to other people, and I for one know that I have done this more than once to people maybe not being worthy of all this attention. I subjected myself to such awful treatment by people who just did not care for me, they used me- to talk, to hang out with. I would cry and tell myself that this is not true, this people really did care for me- but they didn't. And the thought of letting this type of person go just hurt me so much- b.c I did care for them and I truely think I was frightened that they would drop me and forget about me, which they did. I just feel, that having a true mutual connection with someone is very difficult- you never know who really is there for you until you reach rough waters. If it is meant to be it will always prevail.. because those you hold fondest in your heart you never lose....
Well anyways, this is my new approach to life,mostly men in general-- if it is meant to be it will be and if not why waste your time on someone who truthfully doesn't want to be bothered by you.... | | |
|
